Tuesday, June 21, 2011

'Til Death Do Us Part... Or Until I Get Better Internet Connection

Hello, my lovelies.  Happy New Year to you all!  Also, Happy Valentine's, Happy Easter, Happy Solstice, Happy Memorial Day, Happy... you get the point. It's been a while since I've posted.  I have good reason for this...Classes kicked my lovely behind this semester. I think I took for granted that I made Dean's List with a perfect 4.0 the previous semester and thought I could cruise to another 4.0. I was wrong. I only cruised to a 3.7 (A- in both classes), while not a 4.0, it's still pretty damn good if you ask me.

Anyway, we're not here to talk about my classes, but something a little more important.  Love. And Sex. This post will be split into two parts and you'll see what I mean...

Love, or the lack thereof in our society, seems to be running rampant.  By this I mean the lack of love being shown our gay brothers and sisters and their want of getting married. What's the big deal? If you ask me, let them get married.  Marriage is a huge money maker.  Weddings, legal fees, divorce fees, etc etc... It's huge! Plus, let's not forget all of the added benefits (insurance companies will make more money) and... eh, whatever. You understand what I'm saying. Of course, the argument is that allowing same-sex marriage would destroy the sanctity of marriage (and lead into more deviant behavior like pedophilia or bestiality - by the way, if these people against gay marriage think that would happen, I wonder what really goes on their bedrooms, who's really the deviant one), but that seems to be the only argument and not a rather convincing one either.  I know plenty of gay couples and trust me when I say they HATE pedophiles just as much as the next person.

Let's talk a minute about this sanctity of marriage. These conservatives and other anti-gay marriage people (because I do know one or two so-called liberals who are against it as well), say that gays getting married will destroy marriage, but have shown no compelling case for this. It's almost laughable considering all the scandals, divorces, break-ups that occur within the same group of people who condemn gay marriage. Hypocritical much? Two people in love want to get married but can't, yet two people who can get married for gain (ex. political a la Schwarzenegger) and not love are allowed.  Or better yet, what's a better example of the sanctity of marriage than two people (regardless of sexual preference) who want to commit to each other?  Who's destroying the sanctity there?

We can't forget about Weiner either, posting pictures of himself on twitter while his pregnant wife was home (I'll talk about this in a second)....

That leads me to the next thing: Online love, can it happen and when is it considered cheating.

Let me preface this by saying, I met my husband online and we've been married now for seven years, together for nine.  So can it happen? Yes. My new best friend met her husband through online personal ads and they've been together for almost five years, if not longer. However, in both cases we never actually fell in love until we met our significant others in person and, let's face it, we knew that they ACTUALLY existed.

Of course, there is a lot of gray area when it comes to online relationships.  I also think there is a difference between a single person online and having fun and a married person online.

When I first began talking to my husband, I was single.  I was also talking to a few different men online.  I never once felt like I was cheating on anybody, but I was still meeting people and forming some kind of connection. Any encounters online were fleeting in that people come and go and I was meeting new people everyday.  I can't sit here and say that any of those online encounters were meaningful when I was just chatting with them.  Sure pictures may have been exchanged (this was pre-webcam and digital camera age), but I was able to shrug it off if anybody stopped talking to me or if they found someone else that caught their eye.  Oh and let's not forget that because there is still some anonymity online, you still don't know who you're really meeting...

Things are a little different these days with webcams and such.  You can essentially meet a person in "real-time."  Does this change the dynamics of  meeting online?  Sure. While writing words on a page can be perceived differently by different people (one person could see the words as declaration of love, while another just thinks they're being nice), webcams allow two people to really talk, see facial expressions, etc. But regardless, it also depends on the maturity of the two people involved. One person may still not take it as seriously, while the other could go bonkers if they learn that their webcam "partner" is talking to other people. And really, you still won't have a true relationship until you can physically touch each other and be in each others' presence.

It wasn't until I met my husband in person and we started dating that removed myself from any "networking/dating" sites. I actually closed my account (we both did) since really, there was no more need for it.  We found each other.  A few years later, I have a twitter account, I have male followers and I flirt with them, but 1) I keep my twitter very anonymous and only exchange personal information with a select few (and all female or gay), 2) my husband is not a jealous person and 3) my time online does NOT take away from my time with my husband (when he's home we spend our time together, for the most part).

So, what happens when one person is married and gets online? This is where the waters get murky.  I'm still married, I'm online, but as I mentioned before, I'm not online trying to meet my next "hook-up." And if I do happen to flirt with anyone (on the rare occasion), I DO tell my husband.  We laugh about it and we move on.  No big deal. Then there are the couples that don't mind whether their partners are online flirting.  To some it's just mindless fun; in some cases, the couples could be in open relationships and... well that's a whole other discussion.

But, then you have the people like Rep. Weiner. If he weren't married, I wouldn't have cared what the hell he did while online, but he is. He sent pictures of himself to other women, he flirted with other women online, all while his wife was next to him (I wouldn't doubt it, it's easy to sneak a text or a direct message while on your phone) and pregnant. She didn't even know. And as someone pointed out to me, while everyone is focusing on what he did, they aren't focusing on what he didn't do and that was pay attention to his wife. He took time away from his pregnant wife to flirt with women.  That is where he went wrong and that is cheating. Of course, if Huma knew and didn't care, well then, this is all moot, but the way Weiner was trying to hide everything, it was evident she didn't know.  You can't condone that type of behavior.

So, basically, if you're single, have fun in the online world, if you're married, discuss what is acceptable behavior with your partner.

Anyway, that's my long spiel for the day (I think this may have been my longest post yet)...

What do you think (about both gay marriage and online love)? Tell me your thoughts.

Yours in Random,

P.S. All of this talk of Weiner going to sex rehab???  Being a sexual person and flirting does not make you a sexual deviant, an asshole yes, but not a deviant. If he truly had an addiction, he would have met those women and had REAL sex with them, along with some street hookers and escorts and...yeah.  Get a grip society, sexual being does not equal sexually addicted or sexually deviant.

1 comment:

  1. HOW DID I MISS THIS!!!! Great, great, great post. I would like to add something, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND FUCKING STATE. That is all.