Thursday, June 30, 2011

I do, I do, and NY does

A wonderful thing happened on the way to a party Friday night (June 24th)....

A (new) good friend of mine is in the gay porn industry and occasionally does Go-Go dancing on the side at gay bars/clubs. If I can, I always try to go and support him, if not financially, at least for moral support.  (By the way, he's the nicest, sweetest, most lovable person on the planet and smart!) This particular Friday, he was performing at a bar downtown and I dragged my gay husband ("GH") with me (not that he minded much).

I met my GH for dinner before heading to the bar. We both knew that the vote for same-sex marriage was happening that evening and we were glued to our phones (me on twitter, him on Facebook) and feeding each other information as news was updated. When the amendment on religious exemption was passed, my twitter feed blew up with congratulations everywhere as we all assumed that meant same sex marriage had been legalized.  No, it didn't. The passing of the amendment was so gays and lesbians could not sue a church if they were denied a ceremony. In this, I do agree since churches are technically "private."  I use the word private loosely, but it is their right to say no.

The amendment though signaled good things to come.  If this was passed, the likelihood of passing the overall bill was very high and sure enough about a half hour later...


Ecstatic, overjoyed, happy... those words don't describe what I was feeling.  Perhaps GAY works best here. *wink*  While I identify as heterosexual, this was HUGE for everyone! I have many family members and friends that can now experience what I experienced when I got married seven years ago. Nothing can top that, except maybe giving birth to a child (which I know nothing about).  I turned to my GH and asked when he was getting married and told him I was going to be his maid of honor whether he liked it or not.

I was so excited I couldn't even finish my meal!  GH and I paid and left to the bar. Once there, we met with my friend, who proceeded to pick me up and give me the biggest hug on the planet. He had just come from Stonewall and told me the atmosphere there was charged with excitement and joy. I was near tears I was so happy.  I couldn't have been prouder of my state at that moment.

Of course, while the LGBT community was happy with the news, I can only assume the wedding planning industry (and the economy in general) was also happy.  Economists predict a $184 million increase in revenue for the state of New York, most of that most likely going to New York City.  Mayor Bloomberg is already trying to cash in, by promoting New York City as a wedding destination. I predict an even bigger increase in revenue, but I didn't study economics in college so I'll keep my mouth shut.

For the record, a small part of me feels this is all ridiculous. Until the Supreme Court deems the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional, there will never be true equality in terms of marriage. The original constitution does NOT say anything in regards to marriage because, well... marriage, in and of itself, is a religious concept and our founding fathers were adamant about separation of church and state. The union between two people, however, is very much a federal/state concept.  Let's face it, if we want to get married, going to the church isn't enough nor is it recognized by the government.  No, we have to go down to City Hall and pay for a license to be ALLOWED to marry, then pay again to actually get married. And technically, that should be unconstitutional as well.  Why the hell, should I pay for the RIGHT to get married. That's like saying if I want to make a salad with ingredients that I already have in my home, I have to first go down to my local government and get permission. What they've done is turn my RIGHT into a PRIVILEGE. Like I said, ridiculous...

Regardless, it's a great time to be in the city and the state of New York. We're moving in the right direction... finally.

As a side note, Rhode Island approved civil unions yesterday (June 29th).  Couples in a civil union will be afforded the same rights as married couples.  It's not exactly the same, but it's something.

Also, if I were gay and getting married, I would so want this cake:

I stayed out until 3am celebrating with my friend and a good portion of the gay community.  I loved every minute of it and I wish I could relive the moment over and over.

To all my gay friends & family in relationships, I anxiously await my invitations!


  1. Great post, sweetie! What a momentus occasion! Sadly, I'll probably never see a day like that in my two home states. Too many religious nutjobs which is why you're correct in saying the Supreme Court needs to rule on this as a Civil Right. One day, maybe. Also, right-wingers are decidedly uncapitalistic regarding the increased revenue for the wedding industry. Hypocrites. Anyway, well done, New York!

  2. YAY! What an incredible night it must have been. It was emotional for me.